Twentynine Palms

So, out of sheer boredom, and to warn future wives (as if the entire Marine Corps hasn't already warned you about the armpit of Cali), I am making a list blog about Twentynine Palms. List blogs are totally cliche, and only for people who have absolutely NOTHING to talk about, but that's me, so deal.

• I am warning you now, get over your fear of bugs. You will be surrounded by roaches of all kinds, scorpions, spiders galore, and every single other insect reject of God's. I didn't get over mine, and had my husband kill all of them. Then he deployed. Now I am stuck vacuuming up all of their little carcasses. P.S. I am throwing away my vacuum and buying a new one. Better than having to see all of them again.
• Invest in a fuel efficient car. Every single road in the desert is a bajillion miles long, and believe me, it takes 40 minutes to get to Wal Mart from base. Never thought I would see the day.
• Unless you love sand underneath your toenails and in between your toes, wear close toed shoes. Enough said.
• If you're not tan when you move out here, you will be very soon.
• Try not to wear tshirts outside for very long. Unless you think farmer's tans are sexy.
• Your left arm WILL BE darker than your right arm from driving. Get used to it.
• If you live off base and have to be at work at 8 A.M., leave your house early. Trust me on this one.
• If you absolutely have to have a decent house for cheap, live on base. Desert houses are ICKY. And way overpriced.
• If you rent, rent from a company. Renting from an individual person pretty much guarantees that you will be screwed in your deposit, repairs, pest control, etc. I learned this the hard way.
• Just FYI, base housing is BALLING. I'm in love with my house.
• Get used to having to go "down the hill" to get anything specialty. Or new for that matter. Palm Springs is where it's at. Unless you trust these funny looking desert people.
• 29palmsyardsales.com is the greatest website in this area. It will become your best friend of you're a newlywed with no money :)
• There are only like five or six radio stations. Yes, you read that right.
• Take LOTS of pictures of the sunsets. You will miss them when you leave.
• If you can while you're here, go up to the mountains. Big Bear, Lake Arrowhead, Crestline, whatever. It is worth every second.
• Go to Joshua Tree National Park, and get a yearly pass. They're only 30 bucks, and you can see all of the exhibitions they have there. The living desert is amazing.
• If you are going to Vegas for any reason at all, take Amboy Road. It is by far the most serene, relaxing, and beautiful drives I have made here. Oh, and make sure to stop by and have lunch at the Kelso-Cima Railroad Station Museum.
• Try not to take the above road at night. There are no streetlights whatsoever the entire drive to the Nevada line, and creepy just doesn't do it justice. Also, there are no police stations or fire stations all the way to Vegas, so if you get into an accident and are hurt, no one is going to know. If you have to go to Vegas at night, take the 15.
• Grow some really big gonads before you drive in downtown L.A. Jus' sayin'.
• If you have to work, I would advise you go to base if you don't have a bachelors. There are NO jobs out in town. The only jobs seem to be within MCCS.
• The roads out here are in really bad shape. They are extremely bumpy, riddled with potholes, and California doesn't seem to believe in medians. If you are like me, you will drive in the right lane because you swear every car is going to some careening across that tiny yellow line. The lesson: just expect to need new tires and/or an alignment.

I am no expert, but from the almost year that I have been here, these are my rules so far. I'm sure I will come up with many more by the time we leave. That's the nature of my OCD and boredom. Ha.

Unsung heroes

Human beings never fail to amaze me.

Last night, Darren and I went to dinner down the hill in Palm Springs, like we love to do. The dinner was amazing, and cheesecake afterwards was decadent. Afterwards, we went to the movies to try to see Paul, but it was closed. Feeling defeated, we left. On the way back home, I saw police lights flashing behind me. I wasn't going to pull over until they were closer, but thought better of it, because it looked like they were coming fast. Thank God I had a turn lane next to me to pull into. Because not ten seconds after I pulled over, a green Mustang came FLYING (as in like 110 mph) past me, WITH NO HEADLIGHTS ON, followed by three police officers. I'm telling you, it was almost guaranteed that he would have hit me if I had waited any longer. I was thoroughly shaken, because I have been in two car accidents since I moved out here, and that one would have been a horrible one. I never even saw him coming. the only reason I even pulled off the road was because I saw police lights. Call me cliche, but that's the closest I've ever come to seeing my life flash before my eyes. It was terrifying. Darren and I were kind of joking about it, maybe it was a teenager out for a joy ride, joking about how much trouble the guy was in, etc. A few miles up the road, we saw that the car chase had ended. In a fiery explosion, in which a car was wrapped around a tree. Well, needless to say, I lost it. I went into borderline panic attack mode, started crying about how much I didn't want anyone getting hurt, and Darren made me pull over to compose myself. I was still crying when I saw a police officer throw up. The entire palm tree was up in flames, and there was screaming all around us, and bullets that were in the car were going off because of the heat of the fire. It sounds sick, but I stayed partly because I wanted to see the EMS pull someone out of the car that was still alive. I just didn't want anyone to die.

This morning, I found out that the car I had seen up in flames was officer Jermaine Gibson, who had initiated trying to pull the car over, when he realized that the driver was a parolee at large. He was killed on impact. For doing his job, making the ultimate sacrifice, and trying to save the other people on the road from suffering the same fate that he himself ultimately suffered. He was a former Marine, 29 years old, and a rookie with only 18 months on the force. He was just gived an award for being an advocate against drunk driving. Ironic? Coincidence? The other two people in the Mustang wrapped themselves around a tree, causing the car to erupt into flames also. They lived. The people who started all of this; who caused all of this pain and damage. The ones who should be where that officer is now. That's callous I know. But those guys put the lives of everyone around them in danger simply because he didn't want to go back to prison. Their stupid decisions caused an accident in which a (no-doubt) wonderful man was killed before his time.

It's going to take a while for me to get over this. Everytime I shut my eyes, I see the car in flames. I see his picture. I can picture a tattoo of an eagle, globe, and anchor. I've seen fiery crashes in movies; seeing it in person is a completely different experience. It is more upsetting than anything else in my recent memory. Pray for him. For his family. For the Cathedral City police department, who lost a fellow brother last night. And pray that justice is served to its fullest extent.

 Check it, if you want to.

Wow....could 29 Palms get any worse???

Oh dear......lots and lots has happened the last couple of weeks. I've been super stressed, and I'm trying to figure everything out. This is the oh-so-fun rundown:

The pre-deployment brief was tonight. It was long; it was drawn out; but it was worth going. I got a lot of great information. Darren hated it and pouted through the whole thing.

I changed our move-in date for base-housing from April 1st to ASAP. I can't live with these creatures that the landlord says is normal for seven months. Hell no. I'm hoping and praying that this all happens beofre Darren deploys, because after that, his orders are no longer valid to break the lease. a.k.a no bueno.

The day before yesterday, I was a car accident. No, let me rephrase, my SECOND car accident in less than three months. I was waiting in line to get into the front gate of the base, AT A DEAD STOP, and this stupid ass, useless, piece of shit boot Marine slams into me going forty MPH. To put it bluntly, he ended up UNDERNEATH my car, he hit me so hard. My bumper is pretty much gone, and to top it all off, this douchebag doesn't have insurance. But by the grace of God, my husband is really good at doing bodywork, so he can fix the bumper enough to make it look like nothing happened. I'm sore, but I wasn't hurt, and Darren wasn't either. FYI - the last accident involved a douchebag Master Sergeant that T-boned me. FYI again - my car is only four months old.

Yesterday, my grandfather died. He had Parkinson's disease for the last fifteen years of his life, and severe dementia for the last two, so it was kind of a blessing. I miss him dearly, and until the day I die, he will be the smartest man I ever knew. He's with my granny now, so he got everything he ever wanted.

I found a job opening for an audit clerk within MCCS. It's a two dollar an hour paycut, but I would be away from Satan, so I will be much happier than I am now. I just pray that I get it.

We almost have Poineer military loans paid off! Thanks to my very generous refund from the federal and California government. At least they got THAT part right. We are finally on our way. (As long as I don't keep getting in accidents with Marines. Or their wives. Or children.)

Two days until we go home! From everything above, it's painfully obvious that we need a vacation from this place. I feel like nothing has gone right, and I'm just hoping that everything starts to get better. I don't know how many more setbacks I can handle. Or poor Darren for that matter. Everytime something goes wrong, I seem to take out my stress on him. I feel horrible for that by the way.

How much longer until we get out of here??? Oh yea - two years. Hoorah Marine Corps I guess.

Its gotta get worse before it gets better...right?

I literally don't think I've ever been this low in my entire life. It's one thing after another after another after another. I can't seem to catch a break since I moved out here. We lost the house. The lady told us that it was ours when we looked at it and that she would see us on the 1st of November. Then she turns around a couple weeks later and gives me some crap excuse of us not being prepared enough to rent the house, so she "is just going to have to back out." WTH??? I wouldn't have minded, except that after we looked at the house, I gave our landlord our 30 day notice. So now I have to be out of this house by the third, and I don't have a house to move into. I looked at one today, and put a down payment on it to hold it for two weeks; lets just hope we pass the credit check and can get moved in. Not to mention all of the money problems, car problems (the Tiburon finally died and we had to get a new one. New car means new debt.), and the sheer fact that Darren isn't home because he is on a field op, and you can pretty much sum it up in a nutshell that I think I am officially depressed. I've never been depressed before (and therefore am not qualified to diagnose myself, that's just what it feels like), and neither like nor want the feeling being here. It pretty much sucks the big one. I just want to get out of my slump. UGH. Hurry up and get my degree so I can get my job (or any job ever in this complete hellhole), and get out of California. Or at least get a friend that I can spend the next three years here with. That would at least make it bearable when Darren isn't here. I just want to go home.

Things I love and things I don't

Things I love:

• My husband. This is cliche, I know, but I really do. He gives me pretty much anything I want, within reason. But I do the same for him. We work really well together.
• Collecting Barbies. This is the child coming out in me, I guess. But I really don't think there's anything better than spending 50 bucks on a Barbie you can never play with. :) What can I say? I like dolls.
• Reading. This is killing me right now. My favorite think in the world in curling up with a really good book on a really rainy day. But living in the desert, this plan is shot to hell. Oh well. I did however, see my first cloud since moving from Florida. But that was over a week ago. I'm having withdrawls again.
• Stupid T.V. shows. Being unemployed and a student, there's only so much homework you can do at one time. With no car, the only option you have when you take a break is to watch t.v. I watch Seinfeld (I can see you cringing!)...a lot. Like it's all over my DVR.
• Furniture. This might seem strange to some, but until you have absolutely nothing else except an ugly colored loveseat and a bed, you start to appreciate all of those people who have furniture. Its amazing how much you take advantage of things that seem so normal to you at one time.
• Decorating! I have a secret fabulous interior designer inside of me, but the no-so-secret outside of me doesn't have the money to satisfy the inner designer. So I am forced to dream by way of HGTV. Which I also watch...a lot. My husband does not know this.
• Food Network. See above. Same applies.
• Vegas! There's something about all the tacky lights and even tackier people that I just love. Hopefully this does not reflect how tacky I can sometimes be.
• My dog. He is the funniest thing in the world. No, seriously. Like even funnier than Seinfeld reruns. For those of you who don't like Seinfeld, insert something really funny here and replace. :)

Things I do not love:

• This whole Twilight fever. Call me crazy, but I don't see the appeal of hormonal vampire and the desperado who loves him.
• Justin Beiber. Now, don't laugh, but I do really like his songs. Just not so much him. He looks like he's seven, and he keeps getting caught tounging other celebritweens. Not sexy.
• School, at the moment. I have a love/hate relationship with school. Right now its hate. Too much work, not enough time. (Now scold me about being on this blog instead of doing my homework)
• My internet company. They lied to me about not being able to get broadband, so now I'm stuck with satellite internet that's super slow and costs 40 dollars more a month than broadband, because they won't let me out of my contract. Thanks Wildblue!
• The desert. This place is seriously like The Hills Have Eyes come to life. I thought there were funny looking people in Florida! I don't even have to go to the flea market to see them here! (That one's for you Daddy!)
• Living in the desert. Too dry, no rain, not fun.
• The critters of the desert. Pretty much everything has more than four legs, which I do not like.
• Pretty much everything about the desert.
• Not living in Florida.

Are we seeing a pattern yet? Tootles!

Kylie "I-have-nothing-better-to-blog-about" Bolling

The desert is not a place for pansies...

Haha! look at me, two posts in two days!!! I'm proud of myself, what can I say?

Now prepare yourselves for the traumatic events of last night.......
I was outside enjoying the desert night sky, when I look to my right, and, lo and behold, there's a SCORPION next to me! Now for anyone that knows me, they know that I run in fright at the sight of anything with more than four legs (no exaggeration). So, in typical Kylie fashion, I run screaming into my house, lock and deadbolt my doors and windows (as if that's going to stop a raging scorpion from coming inside and eating my innards?) and proceed to spray a very unhealthy amount of bug spray everywhere around my house.

That's right folks, now if a bug tries to come within fifteen feet of my house, they will DIE INSTANTLY! (At least that's what the stupid spray can probably lied to me about.) Now that the bugs are gone, Brody (the dog) and I only have to deal with minor tremors and twitches from the slight brain damage we recieved from the bug spray. Isn't anything that causes cancer, or......cancer supposed to be banned in the great state of California? I guess they missed the cancer causing (but very effective!) bottle of Ortho-something that's sitting peacefully on my kitchen floor ready to be sprayed again at a moment's notice!

I feel slightly betrayed, because no one from Florida to California warned me about these mutant desert creatures that roam this state by night. I have yet to see a rattlesnake or a camel spider (shivers!!!), and if I don't see them, then they must not exist! At least I hope they don't. I guess we will see in the upcoming three years, when I finally get to return to my wonderful home state of Florida! (a.k.a. the land of the not-so-mutant-bugs).

Tootles,
Kylie "too terrified for words" Bolling

P.S. I haven't left the house at all today for fear of being eaten alive. It's 7:02 P.M. That is all.