Well we're off to a good start! :(

So Darren called this morning at two, and I missed it. I was sleeping, and for some reason didn't hear my phone ring. I'm soo upset. I have no idea when he will be able to call me again. Needlessly to say, I cried all morning. I no joke went to bed at one. I missed his call by one hour!!! But he is able to facebook me, so that makes it a little more bearable. Ugh, keep your fingers crossed he will call again soon...

Afghanistan or bust?

Darren left today. I'm not sure what it is normal to feel, but I'm numb. Not too sad, a little bit in denial, and a lot numb. I didn't even get to have a good goodbye. They fell into formation, and fell out of formation to get on the bus. No time for hugs or kisses, nothing. I guess I'm a little resentful for that. I sound selfish, but I think he deserved a good goodbye just as much as I did. It was completely surreal. Like I was watching it from a distance. I don't know what to do with myself. All day, I've slept, cried, or stared into nothing. I feel like a zombie, and I gotta tell you, I don't like it. I keep expecting him to call me and tell me that he is ready to be picked up from work. This post is making it sound like he's dead. Now don't get me wrong, I am more proud of what my husband is doing than anyone. I cheese everytime someone thanks him for his service. I just miss him more than I could possibly say. And I wanted to  make some friends to help make the deployment a little easier, but the spouse potluck that our dipshit FRO put on is at noon. Am I the only one that works in the battallion? It's not just the potluck either. Every single event that this woman has put on has been at ten in the morning, or noon, or three, or five. Well Marines get off at 1730 or 1800, so seeing as how most of the wives work with Marines, you would think she would work on a schedule that benefits everyone. Haha what a joke. Well this has turned into a rant, and on that note, I am going to go back to what I do best, which is cry some more.

Horrible picture of me, but it was 0400 in the morning.



Unsung heroes

Human beings never fail to amaze me.

Last night, Darren and I went to dinner down the hill in Palm Springs, like we love to do. The dinner was amazing, and cheesecake afterwards was decadent. Afterwards, we went to the movies to try to see Paul, but it was closed. Feeling defeated, we left. On the way back home, I saw police lights flashing behind me. I wasn't going to pull over until they were closer, but thought better of it, because it looked like they were coming fast. Thank God I had a turn lane next to me to pull into. Because not ten seconds after I pulled over, a green Mustang came FLYING (as in like 110 mph) past me, WITH NO HEADLIGHTS ON, followed by three police officers. I'm telling you, it was almost guaranteed that he would have hit me if I had waited any longer. I was thoroughly shaken, because I have been in two car accidents since I moved out here, and that one would have been a horrible one. I never even saw him coming. the only reason I even pulled off the road was because I saw police lights. Call me cliche, but that's the closest I've ever come to seeing my life flash before my eyes. It was terrifying. Darren and I were kind of joking about it, maybe it was a teenager out for a joy ride, joking about how much trouble the guy was in, etc. A few miles up the road, we saw that the car chase had ended. In a fiery explosion, in which a car was wrapped around a tree. Well, needless to say, I lost it. I went into borderline panic attack mode, started crying about how much I didn't want anyone getting hurt, and Darren made me pull over to compose myself. I was still crying when I saw a police officer throw up. The entire palm tree was up in flames, and there was screaming all around us, and bullets that were in the car were going off because of the heat of the fire. It sounds sick, but I stayed partly because I wanted to see the EMS pull someone out of the car that was still alive. I just didn't want anyone to die.

This morning, I found out that the car I had seen up in flames was officer Jermaine Gibson, who had initiated trying to pull the car over, when he realized that the driver was a parolee at large. He was killed on impact. For doing his job, making the ultimate sacrifice, and trying to save the other people on the road from suffering the same fate that he himself ultimately suffered. He was a former Marine, 29 years old, and a rookie with only 18 months on the force. He was just gived an award for being an advocate against drunk driving. Ironic? Coincidence? The other two people in the Mustang wrapped themselves around a tree, causing the car to erupt into flames also. They lived. The people who started all of this; who caused all of this pain and damage. The ones who should be where that officer is now. That's callous I know. But those guys put the lives of everyone around them in danger simply because he didn't want to go back to prison. Their stupid decisions caused an accident in which a (no-doubt) wonderful man was killed before his time.

It's going to take a while for me to get over this. Everytime I shut my eyes, I see the car in flames. I see his picture. I can picture a tattoo of an eagle, globe, and anchor. I've seen fiery crashes in movies; seeing it in person is a completely different experience. It is more upsetting than anything else in my recent memory. Pray for him. For his family. For the Cathedral City police department, who lost a fellow brother last night. And pray that justice is served to its fullest extent.

 Check it, if you want to.

Wow....could 29 Palms get any worse???

Oh dear......lots and lots has happened the last couple of weeks. I've been super stressed, and I'm trying to figure everything out. This is the oh-so-fun rundown:

The pre-deployment brief was tonight. It was long; it was drawn out; but it was worth going. I got a lot of great information. Darren hated it and pouted through the whole thing.

I changed our move-in date for base-housing from April 1st to ASAP. I can't live with these creatures that the landlord says is normal for seven months. Hell no. I'm hoping and praying that this all happens beofre Darren deploys, because after that, his orders are no longer valid to break the lease. a.k.a no bueno.

The day before yesterday, I was a car accident. No, let me rephrase, my SECOND car accident in less than three months. I was waiting in line to get into the front gate of the base, AT A DEAD STOP, and this stupid ass, useless, piece of shit boot Marine slams into me going forty MPH. To put it bluntly, he ended up UNDERNEATH my car, he hit me so hard. My bumper is pretty much gone, and to top it all off, this douchebag doesn't have insurance. But by the grace of God, my husband is really good at doing bodywork, so he can fix the bumper enough to make it look like nothing happened. I'm sore, but I wasn't hurt, and Darren wasn't either. FYI - the last accident involved a douchebag Master Sergeant that T-boned me. FYI again - my car is only four months old.

Yesterday, my grandfather died. He had Parkinson's disease for the last fifteen years of his life, and severe dementia for the last two, so it was kind of a blessing. I miss him dearly, and until the day I die, he will be the smartest man I ever knew. He's with my granny now, so he got everything he ever wanted.

I found a job opening for an audit clerk within MCCS. It's a two dollar an hour paycut, but I would be away from Satan, so I will be much happier than I am now. I just pray that I get it.

We almost have Poineer military loans paid off! Thanks to my very generous refund from the federal and California government. At least they got THAT part right. We are finally on our way. (As long as I don't keep getting in accidents with Marines. Or their wives. Or children.)

Two days until we go home! From everything above, it's painfully obvious that we need a vacation from this place. I feel like nothing has gone right, and I'm just hoping that everything starts to get better. I don't know how many more setbacks I can handle. Or poor Darren for that matter. Everytime something goes wrong, I seem to take out my stress on him. I feel horrible for that by the way.

How much longer until we get out of here??? Oh yea - two years. Hoorah Marine Corps I guess.

Breaking News! Read all about it!

We're going home!!!!!!! Oh yes we are. To my beautiful home of Fernandina Beach, Florida.

Yes this is my home. Be jealous. Be very jealous.

Now laugh at me because I left this place to come to the desert.

That's right, on February 26th, we are officially (and finally) going to see our families!!!!! This is the most exciting thing to happen to us since we moved out here. Besides getting married of course.

In other news, Darren got sent back to the field, because of the same douchebag that messed up the first time and caused him to go. This kid needs to be kicked out of the Marine Corps and shipped back to whatever podunk, midwest, wheat-growing town he came from. They are lost without their designated idiot. That is all. :) 

There is NOTHING to blog about.

I have bitched and moaned about Darren being in Viper so much I feel drained. But then today, I got yet another blow. The clothing allowance and per diem for the two Pendleton fiasco didn't all come in so we didn't get as much as we needed to get home for pre-deployment leave. AAAHHHH!!!! I am sooooooo sick of this base! Nothing that they do they can do right. It's maddening! And to top it all off, Darren has no phone, because he decided to leave it here, and now he has to highjack random Marine's (or Corpsman) phones to call. So now I have no way to tell him about the paycheck. Ugh. AND...he doesn't know when he is coming home now! Originally, it was three days. But now according to his company's "leaders" they don't know. I'm sooooooo sick of being lonely. The hardest part is knowing he's only like ten miles from me and I can't see or talk to him.

On a lighter note, I got the Wildblue crap taken care of, and I am finally getting my money back. Money they took out of my bank account without my knowledge or authorization, mind you. The background: Wildblue is a REALLY BAD satellite internet company that charges outrageous prices (like 60 bucks a month for pretty much dial up speed) and gives you a cap on "how much internet you can use, because other people need to use it too". REALLY??? You're going to charge me that much and not even let me use all the internet I want! Anyways, I cancelled my service, because I am a genius, and I never signed a contract (mwahahaha) and they went in my checking account and TOOK 300 dollars of my paycheck. Now, for anyone who is a Lance Corporal's wife, you know that you don't really make enough money to have someone take 300 of it. Even with my job, that's a crapton of money. Well, they took it because they said that I never sent my equipment back, which is crap, because I had. They researched, and found that they had given me the wrong tracking number for the package they sent me, and lost my shit. Oh wow. These are the most intelligent people in the entire world don't ya think?!?! Anyways, long rambling short, I am getting my greenbacks back and I am happy once again, because I am going to put that towards mine and Darren's home fund!!! Maybe we actually WILL make it!

Its gotta get worse before it gets better...right?

I literally don't think I've ever been this low in my entire life. It's one thing after another after another after another. I can't seem to catch a break since I moved out here. We lost the house. The lady told us that it was ours when we looked at it and that she would see us on the 1st of November. Then she turns around a couple weeks later and gives me some crap excuse of us not being prepared enough to rent the house, so she "is just going to have to back out." WTH??? I wouldn't have minded, except that after we looked at the house, I gave our landlord our 30 day notice. So now I have to be out of this house by the third, and I don't have a house to move into. I looked at one today, and put a down payment on it to hold it for two weeks; lets just hope we pass the credit check and can get moved in. Not to mention all of the money problems, car problems (the Tiburon finally died and we had to get a new one. New car means new debt.), and the sheer fact that Darren isn't home because he is on a field op, and you can pretty much sum it up in a nutshell that I think I am officially depressed. I've never been depressed before (and therefore am not qualified to diagnose myself, that's just what it feels like), and neither like nor want the feeling being here. It pretty much sucks the big one. I just want to get out of my slump. UGH. Hurry up and get my degree so I can get my job (or any job ever in this complete hellhole), and get out of California. Or at least get a friend that I can spend the next three years here with. That would at least make it bearable when Darren isn't here. I just want to go home.

Being a military wife...

In a word, being a military wife (especially a Marine wife) is hard. I have been a military dependent for my entire life, so I'm used to the man in my life being away. But since my daddy retired, I have completely forgotten how hard it is to move to a city where you know no one, find a job, and start a new life. I have always had trouble making friends, because I'm incredibly shy. Because of this, I don't talk to anyone. Most people take this as me being a snob. This is not the case. I literally get the shakes and goosebumps just thinking about going to a party or something where I know no one. (This is no joke.) I am seriously attempting to get involved within the base atmosphere. I am going to volunteer for Marine Corps Community Services (although this is simply because I cannot find a job ANYWHERE), and I am going to give it my best shot to come out of this duty station with some friend-ish type people.

Now, always being a military daughter, and not a wife, I never really had any need to make friends with the people on base. I had friends at school, church, etc. But it's totally different being a wife. Now I know how my mom felt. THIS SUCKS!

But on a brighter note....

We're moving to base housing! Darren is turning in his application to the housing office tomorrow, and it's a two to five month wait, but just thinking of all the money we will be saving makes it all soooo worth it. Not only that, but I will be surrounded by other military wives! I'm not a whole lot like other girls, what with me being a boy in a girls body and all (can you hear me snickering as I write that?), but I really hope I can get along with SOME of these girls. I have only had a handful of female friends in my whole life, but I figure that me being friends with other Marines, or men in general, would not look very good to the wives around me. Boo. I can relate so much better to men than women. Ah well. I'll get through it. It will get better when I get a job, or get enrolled in the college out here once I get my degree from Florida. December baby!!! When I finally have that Associates Degree, it will make me feel that much closer to actually getting my Bachelors (which is still  years away). But yea, anyways, its 1230 here, and this whole borderline-insomnia thing is just not working for me. Ta Ta for now!

Kylie "Loser-with-no-friends" Bolling Teehee my mother is going to love that one.

It's Official...

Darren and I had our first real fight. Like I'm talking slamming doors, yelling, crying (on my part), and not speaking for like 2 hours. It was pretty awful. Here's the background:

We can't really afford to live in the house that we live in. Between the rent, electricity, water, the new gas bill (that I was under the impression the landlord payed for), and the brand new loan that Darren completely forgot about for the past nine months that we now owe 160 bucks a month for, we don't have any extra money. And it doesn't help that we live like 20 miles away from base and we have only one car, so it's a thirty minute drive to and from base twice a day. A.K.A. it's a bunch of gas that we waste. Granted he makes 2800 a month, but our bills alone are almost 2000. That doesn't leave much fun money left over every month. So I proposed that we probably have to move into base housing temporarily just until we get on our feet.

WELL......

He went ballistic. He doesn't want to live on base, he doesn't want to live anywhere near base, he doesn't like Marines, he doesn't like this, he doesn't like that. It went on for a while until I stopped talking and he walked away. Now, I love him more than pretty much anything, but I really can't stand that he is not willing to live like a normal Lance Corporal that's newly married, and just suck it up and live in base housing just temporarily. He has this really high standard of living that we just cannot do only being married for a month and a half. He expects to live the way his parents live, but I'm not sure he understands that it took his parents 25 years to get to where they're at. My parents are the same way. It took them a really long time to get to where they're at. We will get there eventually. But not right now. I'm not working yet (not by choice I might add), so all we have is his income. Both his parents and my parents had to live in base housing for a little while until they got their finances straight. They did it, and so do we.

So after we had both cooled down, we agreed that I would go by the housing office tomorrow, and fill out the paperwork to get into base housing. Not only can we save money and possibly get our bills paid off, but we can get furniture, and all of the things that we both want. Also, when he deploys in March, I can be surrounded by men and women who are in the exact same position that I will be in. Living where we do right now, I live in the middle of nowhere, with no one around, and no friends. It will be a lot easier on me when he deploys to be in base housing.

I love it when he agrees with me, even if it only took him a fight and three hours later.

Kylie "hoping-to-save-money" Bolling

The desert is not a place for pansies...

Haha! look at me, two posts in two days!!! I'm proud of myself, what can I say?

Now prepare yourselves for the traumatic events of last night.......
I was outside enjoying the desert night sky, when I look to my right, and, lo and behold, there's a SCORPION next to me! Now for anyone that knows me, they know that I run in fright at the sight of anything with more than four legs (no exaggeration). So, in typical Kylie fashion, I run screaming into my house, lock and deadbolt my doors and windows (as if that's going to stop a raging scorpion from coming inside and eating my innards?) and proceed to spray a very unhealthy amount of bug spray everywhere around my house.

That's right folks, now if a bug tries to come within fifteen feet of my house, they will DIE INSTANTLY! (At least that's what the stupid spray can probably lied to me about.) Now that the bugs are gone, Brody (the dog) and I only have to deal with minor tremors and twitches from the slight brain damage we recieved from the bug spray. Isn't anything that causes cancer, or......cancer supposed to be banned in the great state of California? I guess they missed the cancer causing (but very effective!) bottle of Ortho-something that's sitting peacefully on my kitchen floor ready to be sprayed again at a moment's notice!

I feel slightly betrayed, because no one from Florida to California warned me about these mutant desert creatures that roam this state by night. I have yet to see a rattlesnake or a camel spider (shivers!!!), and if I don't see them, then they must not exist! At least I hope they don't. I guess we will see in the upcoming three years, when I finally get to return to my wonderful home state of Florida! (a.k.a. the land of the not-so-mutant-bugs).

Tootles,
Kylie "too terrified for words" Bolling

P.S. I haven't left the house at all today for fear of being eaten alive. It's 7:02 P.M. That is all.

America's government is incompetent!

So today, I tried to fill out a loan application so I can pay for my classes that start in August. Come to find out, I have to fill out an Appeal of Loan Limits Application, because apparently I've taken out too much money to pay for school.

What do you expect me to do?!?!

How do you expect me to pay for college?? Because last time I checked you incompetent morons, it actually costs a lot of money to go to college. You preach to us that a college education is important for our future, then you complain and moan that I'm taking too much of your money!!! You spend 40 billion dollars on stupid crap, like fruit fly sex research, or watching a pig while she's pregnant, or universal health care, and you wonder why you have no money!!!!!

I need this money to get the college education you have been preaching to me all my life! Not the stupid fruit flies, or pregnant pigs, or Nancy Pelosi, or the stupid laws that you enact every single day! When will you people realize that pretty much the entire country thinks you guys suck! Every one of you is nothing more than an arrogant, egotistical, shallow, greedy, power-hungry, lying politician!

Every one of you!!!!!

I have come to my wits end listening to you people make fools of yourselves on public television, spending my very hard earned money, and my parent's, and my fiancee's, and the rest of America! I complained when Universal Health Care was passed, and the absolutely retarded Appropriations Bill, but I absolutely can not stand for you to have your disgusting hands in my college loans!!!

Get out of office and let America be the country it used to be before you morons took over!!!!

Kylie "What-is-this-country-coming-to" Moody